I need to vent to the world of my pregnancies. Sometimes I get the energy to go out. To get dressed, get makeup on, and leave the house. If someone asks me how I am I say “Good”. I mean I should be happy that I am pregnant. I really am happy. But these special occurrences only happen a couple times a week. The rest of the week is a different story.
Most of my day is spent in bed. Smells, light, and food are issues for me. I do take care of a toddler as much as I can. But my husband is very helpful when he comes home from work at 4. He even makes dinner and gives her a bath. But he has to make something that does not smell. I have been getting migraines more often at night. All I can do is sit in a dark room, without sound, and wait to fall asleep and hope it goes away by morning. This is difficult sometimes with a toddler at bed time.
I want to eat healthy but my body just feels tired and ready to throw up at any moment. Also, I am a belly sleeper which is getting increasingly more difficult. This means that I am not sleeping as well.
Things that I want to do are difficult or impossible for me. After carrying laundry up the stairs my heart beats fast and I need to take a rest. I wish I could do what I could before I was pregnant. Or that I could take medicine for the hurts that I am having.
The difficult part it the length of time I feel like this. This is not a cold that will go away in a day or two. I am not experiencing something that will be a long week. I feel like this for months. All while I am not accomplishing things and others have to do some of the work I normally do.
Even when I get out of the house I have to use the bathroom every 45 minutes. I need to drink water all day and eat every half hour. This is much easier to accomplish at home. I admit the cruise was also easy for this but only while on the cruise. Not the travel days and the days off the ship. Or long car rides.
So while you may see me out of the house, smiling in a picture on facebook, or being positive this is not the norm for me over the past 4 months. Yes, I have been on a 2 cruises and out for Christmas. But these have been special occasions. My husband has been for me in different ways to help me be as comfortable as I can be in the situation. I have needed help from many people. I have had odd requests just to feel “comfortable”. I feel very very blessed to be creating life. Thank you for reading and understanding.